You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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