Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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