im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
