No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
