I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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