He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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