Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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