Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
