He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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