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So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
