fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
