dude i'm inner monologue high
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize