tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
