just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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