but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
