just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
