Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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