But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
