Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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