Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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