They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
