Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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