how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
pray to the hookup gods
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
