wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
