I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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