Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
