What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
