I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
