i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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