So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
