hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
