I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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