My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
