pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Green mimosas i think yes
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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