i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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