I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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