P.S. I can't hear my feet
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
