too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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