Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
