At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize