the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
