i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
