More tranny stories later!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
