Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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