I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
