her vagina looked like bernie madoff
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
