If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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