that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have aggressive nipples.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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