he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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