I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
