That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
