Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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