We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize