i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
