Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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