I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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