brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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