he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just had sex on a roof
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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