I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
