STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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