I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
