You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
