Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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