I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
