OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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