He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
