smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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