so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
