If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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