They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
