My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
